Detoxing relationships!
It is tough to say good byes. And tougher to start accepting the fact that someone is out of your life. When we are in a relationship, the daily routine we follow is not just based on an individual's body/life but both of them. Your morning starts with his, who cares if you had a night shift, your alarm resonates with each other's. Your food choices, favorite drink, favorite midnight food joint, favorite color, clothing styles start mixing with each other. Most of all, you start smelling like each other, the fragrance of him being around is so strong, you can't take it off your mind ever. All this is the pleasant part of relationships. But when it ends, the transition is difficult and heart wrecking. Suddenly, one morning you turn off your alarm clock and go back to sleep, get ready, wear the same perfume and realize he's around. Getting someone out of your house is easy; out of your life, is your choice. You can make it easy or difficult.
I chose to make it easy for myself, by detoxing. Detoxing relationships is probably the most essential break up gift for yourself. Your heart needs it, your body needs it. Here's how I went about it:
1). Remove all your common favorite songs from the playlist
As much as I hate doing that, I knew I had to, because putting on earphones and pretending like you're in a movie with your hair flowing, sitting in the backseat of the car is easy but cliched too. Stop doing that. More than breakups, we start torturing ourselves. So delete them, right away.
2). Change the perfume you wore on your date nights
Okay, this might be subjective to a person. For me, if I wear a perfume, I can't tell the difference between two different fragrance. So, even if it is mine, it will remind me of his presence. In fact, the aroma opens up the entire ambience of the day spent together. So, definitely CHANGE it.
3). Get rid of the soft toys/mushy gifts lurking around
Get rid of them anyway. You are a grown up working woman, who keeps soft toys. :| And anyway, after breakups, they look more like those haunted toys, smiling at me in the night light. Spooky!
4). Start with a hobby
Now this may sound very cliche, but works, ALWAYS. Go for an evening stroll, read a book or maybe start writing like I am doing. Taking up a hobby not only helps you get over the memories and distract yourself but it also builds confidence in oneself. So, explore, choose what you want to do. Who knows, you might find something you have been pushing away because of the relationship.
5). Stop cribbing about relationships/couples/romantic movies
Just because you didn't have a perfect one, doesn't mean whoever around you has it, is going to end up sad. Stop judging people to comfort yourself. It is okay if you made a wrong decision. That doesn't mean you have to block all roads for yourself now. We fail and we learn. Letting go of all the negativities will only give you more power and is a sign of maturity.
6). Sleep early, change your routine back to normal
A person is most vulnerable at night, so when it is after 12, SLEEP. Just fucking sleep and do not touch your phone be it anyone, because you are going to check instagram, read relationship quotes, watch happy couples and get into your pity mode. This is the worst state to be in. Do not do that, if you have taken a decision, stick to it.
7). Don't jump into dating random guys
Did you install Tinder back? Stop looking for an escape. Don't make someone else your reason/excuse to get over a bad relationship. When detoxing, no forceful dating. You don't wanna end up in a similar/worse situation back.
8). Before hating that person, learn a lesson from where it all went wrong
Instead of constantly cursing your ex, try to learn from the situation. After all, nothing can be one way in a relationship. If you were wrong, correct yourself. Do not let people hurt you like that. You will only attract more negativity and would never be able to let it all go. It is not necessary to be ideal and start being friends, don't be. But don't keep hating them and in the back of your mind try to have them back. Snip them off your life for sometime.
Being in your 20s is the best gift of all. Have fun, live your life, MAKE your life. This is the best phase of your life, cherish it, love it. Things will fall into place and before they do, learn to live in the chaos and take whatever life gives you. This detoxing is easier than living on green tea so go on, detox after ending relationships!
I chose to make it easy for myself, by detoxing. Detoxing relationships is probably the most essential break up gift for yourself. Your heart needs it, your body needs it. Here's how I went about it:
1). Remove all your common favorite songs from the playlist
As much as I hate doing that, I knew I had to, because putting on earphones and pretending like you're in a movie with your hair flowing, sitting in the backseat of the car is easy but cliched too. Stop doing that. More than breakups, we start torturing ourselves. So delete them, right away.
2). Change the perfume you wore on your date nights
Okay, this might be subjective to a person. For me, if I wear a perfume, I can't tell the difference between two different fragrance. So, even if it is mine, it will remind me of his presence. In fact, the aroma opens up the entire ambience of the day spent together. So, definitely CHANGE it.
3). Get rid of the soft toys/mushy gifts lurking around
Get rid of them anyway. You are a grown up working woman, who keeps soft toys. :| And anyway, after breakups, they look more like those haunted toys, smiling at me in the night light. Spooky!
4). Start with a hobby
Now this may sound very cliche, but works, ALWAYS. Go for an evening stroll, read a book or maybe start writing like I am doing. Taking up a hobby not only helps you get over the memories and distract yourself but it also builds confidence in oneself. So, explore, choose what you want to do. Who knows, you might find something you have been pushing away because of the relationship.5). Stop cribbing about relationships/couples/romantic movies
Just because you didn't have a perfect one, doesn't mean whoever around you has it, is going to end up sad. Stop judging people to comfort yourself. It is okay if you made a wrong decision. That doesn't mean you have to block all roads for yourself now. We fail and we learn. Letting go of all the negativities will only give you more power and is a sign of maturity.
6). Sleep early, change your routine back to normal
A person is most vulnerable at night, so when it is after 12, SLEEP. Just fucking sleep and do not touch your phone be it anyone, because you are going to check instagram, read relationship quotes, watch happy couples and get into your pity mode. This is the worst state to be in. Do not do that, if you have taken a decision, stick to it.
7). Don't jump into dating random guys
Did you install Tinder back? Stop looking for an escape. Don't make someone else your reason/excuse to get over a bad relationship. When detoxing, no forceful dating. You don't wanna end up in a similar/worse situation back.
8). Before hating that person, learn a lesson from where it all went wrong
Instead of constantly cursing your ex, try to learn from the situation. After all, nothing can be one way in a relationship. If you were wrong, correct yourself. Do not let people hurt you like that. You will only attract more negativity and would never be able to let it all go. It is not necessary to be ideal and start being friends, don't be. But don't keep hating them and in the back of your mind try to have them back. Snip them off your life for sometime.
Being in your 20s is the best gift of all. Have fun, live your life, MAKE your life. This is the best phase of your life, cherish it, love it. Things will fall into place and before they do, learn to live in the chaos and take whatever life gives you. This detoxing is easier than living on green tea so go on, detox after ending relationships!
And also get rid of the letters and cards.
ReplyDeleteU shld publish a book may be
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks Ady! :) Someday.
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