A Loss Unfilled!!

Bella was sitting at the stairs of her granpa’s house and tears were rolling down her cheeks as she recounted the memories of her childhood. It was the 5^th of April’93 when she came into this world. Soon she went to live with her grandparents at their home as her mum and dad both were working and were not able to devote sufficient time in bringing up little Bella. Little Bella soon became a toy at her grandparents’ home. Bella was the youngest one in the family of four consisting of her granpa, granma, her Uncle and little Bella. Bella was treated as the princess of that house. Bella’s granpa had recently retired and thus, there was no source of income by him. The only man who was working was Bella’s uncle. Bella’s granma was a strong and tough lady who often faced serious situation and fought them fiercely. Bella soon became the life of her granpa and granma. They used to sleep after she slept and woke before she used to wake up. Bella’s each and every wish; each and every want always became their responsibility which they fulfilled without any lag. Once Bella wanted a doll from her very favourite shop ,she often used to go. Her granpa didn’t have enough money for it. When Bella came back home, she started asking for it and said that she wants it anyhow. Her granpa immediately took out some money he used to keep in between his books for buying some more books and brought her the doll. This was how Bella was brought up with extreme care, affection and love.

All these thoughts were upsetting Bella a lot and tears rolled down her cheeks as each tear recounted each moment spent with her grandparents.

Whenever Bella used to visit her grandparents after she came back to live with her parents, she used to spend time with her granpa. There was a very tender and affectionate love in her granpa’s presence. He often used to take her to the stationery shop and let her buy whatever she wished to and used to tell the shopkeeper, “Note it in my record.” He was a very simple and down to earth person who was the greatest scholar of English Bella has ever known, for Bella, her granpa was a genius who knew each and every everything about the English language. He was a man who could wear torn pyjamas but always owned good and expensive English books. English language was into his nerves and he was addicted to it more than an alcoholic to his drink or a drug addicted fellow. He always used to repeat the fact that even after of so many years of utter devotion and worship of this language, he knew just a little bit of it. His beautiful and spectacular handwriting left everyone bewildered and they could never stop themselves from praising it. His writing for an order of a book from England is still kept there as an example of good handwriting. He had a whole library full of English books and he used to sleep on the floor surrounded by those books. But even after being such a “jewel”, he didn’t possess even a pinch of attitude and pride. Bella always saluted this great personality and was very proud of him.

Bella was feeling very lonely and alone as she saw the cell phone in her hand and kissed it. She recounted the day when she came to her granpa and explained him the functioning of the music system. Bella was a little irritated by her granpa as he was constantly asking her the same thing. Then, she wrote the procedure in a small notebook and left the room. After a week or so, when she was studying at her home, the phone rang, it was granpa. Bella talked to him and he again asked Bella to visit him and explain him the functioning. She asked him to ask the same from her niece. But he kept on repeating that he wanted Bella to visit him and that he can’t count on her niece. It was an urge from an old grandfather to her granddaughter to meet him for the last time….

Yes, it was the last time Bella talked to her granpa. After talking to him, Bella went to take her dinner. Again, her granpa called her but Bella said that she would talk to him later after having the dinner. But Bella forgot to talk to him….

“How bad and helpless he must have felt. Curses on me!!” murmured Bella as she began to weep bitterly.

It was 13^th of July’ 2010 when the phone rang at Bella’s home and it was her Uncle on the other side and he was in a state of panic and haste. Bella’s mum received the phone and soon she came to know that Bella’s granpa had a sudden chest pain. Her mother and father soon rushed to the hospital. Her mother rang home where Bella was alone, tensed, and was waiting for her mother’s call. She soon picked up the call and got to know that her granpa had a heart attack last night. Tears came out of her eyes as she talked to her granpa who was unable to speak anything as she put down the phone, she went to the temple, fell in front of god and prayed him to cure her granpa soon so that she could explain him the working of the music player.

Soon the condition of her granpa started becoming normal and one day Bella visited him. She was happy to see that he was quite cheerful and happy that day as all his grandchildren had come to visit him. Bella was quite relieved that soon her granpa will come back home healthy. But nothing like that was written in fate. Destiny wanted something else. After few days, there was a call from the hospital and Bella’s aunt told her father that her granpa’s condition is critical. Soon Bella’s parents rushed to the hospital. Poor Bella was really scared and shocked as she felt that someone very near and dear to her was leaving her hand. She started crying bitterly. The next morning, as soon as she woke up, she rushed to her father to know about her granpa’s condition to which he explained that his condition was really critical that night and it seemed that they had almost lost him. Bella was shocked and shaken.

“Please pray for my granpa, he’s very ill..” was Bella’s facebook status for that day. She even sent messages to her friends and relatives asking them to pray for his quick recovery. Everyone wished that he would get well soon. All Bella could do was this only. Soon she bought some friendship bands for her friends as it was friendship’s day and Bella was indeed excited to celebrate this day with her friends.

On the other side, her granpa’s condition was getting worse. One day she went to visit him at the hospital along with her aunt. As she entered the I.C.U., she was quite upset to see her granpa lying on the bed with machines attached to his body. She couldn’t speak to him as her throat was choked. She felt like bursting into tears but she couldn’t. As she was about to leave her granpa, she was stopped by his words. “When will you come again?” Bella pretending to be normal replied, “I’ll come tomorrow, granpa.” But Bella was unaware of what was going to happen next. She did not know that it was her last meeting with her granpa.

On the 31^st of July, when Bella was about to go to bed, she heard the ringing of telephone. She shuddered with fear and woke up. She heard her father talking to her Uncle. Her heart started sinking. She knew that the news was a bad one. Without asking her father, she started crying bitterly. Bella’s father woke her mother up and they both rushed to the hospital. Bella was very sad and asked her mother to inform her about his condition as soon as she reaches the hospital. Bella was quite nervous and kept praying to god. After half an hour, the phone rang again. Bella with shaking hands took the receiver and her mother informed her that her granpa is no more in this world. Bella was totally freezed. She started crying bitterly. All the sweet memories of her childhood days kept flashing in her mind. She was missing her granpa and the moments that she had spent with him, with the man who always loved her, cared for her, understood her likes and dislikes, supported her whenever she needed him and most importantly he was the only man on this earth who understood Bella’s dream... He had left forever…. Bella was really sad that she would never be able to see him again, listen to his voice again or talk to him like a friend. Several questions arose in her mind. Why did god do this with him? Why did he take him so early? Why did he leave us? Why he is not there to share my success? Why couldn’t I do anything for him? And many more questions…. She knew that the questions would never be answered now. Next morning, Bella’s father took her to her granpa’s place. Bella ran towards her granpa’s room. She saw the dead body which was placed on ice log in his room. He was surrounded by his books which were everything for him in his life and today the books were bidding a farewell to their owner. Bella fell on his feet and began to weep bitterly. She had never expected to see all this in her life and when she did, it was the one whom she loved dearly. Whenever Bella came to her granpa, his first question to her would be. “With whom have you come?” but there was none to ask her so that day. Bella was full of grief. She wanted that her granpa will open his eyes just once so that she could tell him how much she loved him and that she would surely fulfill his dreams. She didn’t move from there. She went into the flashback for a moment. She knew how much her granpa and granma waited for her to spend some time with them. But due to certain engagements, she couldn’t visit them often. She did not want to leave him for a moment. Poor Bella kept weeping sitting beside her granpa’s body. Anytime whenever she had any query in her mind, she would ring up or visit her granpa and he was always ready to help her but today everything was over as there was no one who would answer to her queries. Bella watched closely at her granpa’s face and noticed a tear fall from his eyes. Bella’s granpa could never see Bella in tears but today he couldn’t wipe them so he gave her a notation so that she stops crying. Bella saw her granpa and then the books which were his life. He couldn’t think of his life without books. His books were his soul. Bella promised her granpa that she will always take care of the books and will never let them deserted. As the rituals took place, Bella became lonely and sad. It was time for his final departure to the heavenly abode. Bella touched her granpa’s feet and took his last blessings. Bella’s granpa had left forever. He would never come back. All these thoughts left Bella very weak and pathetic. She turned towards her granma, held her tightly in her arms and wept with her. She stayed with her granma throughout and promised herself that she would take care of her granma in every possible manner. Bella saw the friendship bands in her bag as she has not used them. She made a resolution that she would not use the bands this year. Bella was really sad and did not answer to her friends’ messages wishing her “Happy Friendship Day”.

The next day as Bella entered her granpa’s room, there was no granpa looking at her and asking her, “With whom have you come?”